Clerical Error
Stop chasing me!
Stop chasing me!
I'll stab you in the neck with a pencil, if you don't stop chasing me!
God has abandoned me in this cubicle littered space.
A good place to get lost in...
When life was normal.
Not so much now...
Now.
There isn't really much life left to speak of.
I didn't really care much for Bob when he was alive...
I sure as hell don't like the motherfucker now that he wants to dine on my innards.
He was always a condescending, egotistical son of a bitch.
Always strutting around in a too tight shirt, trying to impress all the doughy, self loathing office hens.
Now with his lips chewed off, he just stumbles around with a perpetual cocky smirk plastered across his face.
He seems more arrogant now than he ever did.
Just biding his time.
Waiting me out.
Prick.
I have a seemingly endless supply of pencils...
A stapler.
And a pack of juicy fruit.
Not much to work with, that is unless I'm Macgyver.
Nope.
I'm riding out the apocalypse trapped in this fluorescent lit hell hole.
Looks like my time is running out.
I could stab myself with a pencil and hope lead poisoning takes me.
Won't do shit to ass-face Bob over there.
He'll eventually find me.
Man.
I'm screwed.
Fuck you Bob.
Stop chasing me!
I'll stab you in the neck with a pencil, if you don't stop chasing me!
God has abandoned me in this cubicle littered space.
A good place to get lost in...
When life was normal.
Not so much now...
Now.
There isn't really much life left to speak of.
I didn't really care much for Bob when he was alive...
I sure as hell don't like the motherfucker now that he wants to dine on my innards.
He was always a condescending, egotistical son of a bitch.
Always strutting around in a too tight shirt, trying to impress all the doughy, self loathing office hens.
Now with his lips chewed off, he just stumbles around with a perpetual cocky smirk plastered across his face.
He seems more arrogant now than he ever did.
Just biding his time.
Waiting me out.
Prick.
I have a seemingly endless supply of pencils...
A stapler.
And a pack of juicy fruit.
Not much to work with, that is unless I'm Macgyver.
Nope.
I'm riding out the apocalypse trapped in this fluorescent lit hell hole.
Looks like my time is running out.
I could stab myself with a pencil and hope lead poisoning takes me.
Won't do shit to ass-face Bob over there.
He'll eventually find me.
Man.
I'm screwed.
Fuck you Bob.
Very dark and sarcastic humor, i love it!
ReplyDeleteHilarious, not poetic at all, so different from your other posts. I love the sarcasm and the dark humor. I'm reading them from newest to oldest so this is only my third review, but already I have to ask, have you ePublished yet?
ReplyDeleteIf I were you I'd collect all of these shorts in one word file and publish them under the Aim For The Head title with Zombie flash fiction as the qualifier and publish through https://www.smashwords.com/upload you have a very marketable talent.